That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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