i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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