You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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