'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
