Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
