Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My ass is underappreciated
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
