I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's shark week go big or go home
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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