can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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