small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
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At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina