apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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