a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's just like the Real World with babies
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
