Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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