Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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