I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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