you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
