Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I smell like Dick and happiness
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
