I cockslap morals
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
