Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
