well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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