I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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