I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
