Banned from zoo.
Again?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
