Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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