Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
