I didn't shave. On purpose
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
