He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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