....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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