i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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