i was born a porn star she said
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
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