I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
