we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize