i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
