i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
