you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
