Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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