I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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