Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
