I want to have your abortion
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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