there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
