Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
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it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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