I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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