So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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