I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
