Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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