Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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