i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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