yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
