I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
