WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
