porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
