The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
