All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
