but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
