honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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