just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize