So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
