Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
