so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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