True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
bring money and cleavage
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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