private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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